


One step at a time

by Kapoen



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Jaskier | Dandelion, Bathing/Washing, Gen, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, Poor Jaskier | Dandelion, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Protective Eskel (The Witcher), Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25068214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapoen/pseuds/Kapoen
Summary: Geralt arrives at an inn and is surprised to hear that Jaskier went after some drowners by himself. Geralt hadn’t seen Jaskier since that horrible day on the mountain two years ago.Geralt finds his bard hurt, starving, angry and without his lute!Geralt is confused. What happened to his bard? Can he fix it? Does Jaskier even want him to fix it?
Relationships: Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 16
Kudos: 181





	1. Finding Jaskier

**Author's Note:**

> I know here are probably a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. I’m sorry for that. I’m doing my best but English isn’t my first language.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt finds out that Jaskier took a contract.

**Chapter 1 Finding Jaskier**

Geralt walked into an inn. He was tired and hungry. After four days of sleeping outside he was looking forward to a warm bed. 

The innkeeper looked surprised. He probably wasn’t expecting a witcher. “Back already”? he asked. 

Geralt raised his eyebrows. “Have we met before?” He didn’t remember visiting this inn but he had seen so many small towns and inn’s that it was possible that he didn’t remember one.

“No, no witcher I’m sorry. It is just that your bard said it would take a few days. I didn’t think I would see you today already. Is it dead? Was it just one drowner or a pack?” The innkeeper leaned forward probably hoping for a good story. 

Geralt just stared at the man. “My bard?” he finally said. “My bard said I would kill your drowners?” A bad feeling went through his body. He hadn’t seen Jaskier since the mountain, the dragon hunt. That was almost two years ago. 

“Yes, Jaskier was his name right? He said you were waiting in the forest. He negotiated a very good price for you. Is he coming? I was hoping he would sing about your adventures”. The innkeeper looked at the door like Jaskier could walk in every moment now.

Geralt didn’t answer because many thoughts went through his head. Had Jaskier found another witcher? Was it one of his brothers? Maybe it was a viper or a cat? Maybe they 're using Jaskier. Jaskier could be hurt or worse. Maybe they used him as bait. 

He needed to know which witcher Jaskier was traveling with. “Did Jaskier tell you my name?”

The innkeeper nods. “Oh yes, and even if he didn’t, everyone knows the witcher bard travels with the great white wolf, Geralt of Rivia”. He smiled at Geralt. 

That’s it. “Tell me where the drowners are” he snapped at the innkeeper. The innkeeper looked surprised.

“Uhm what, I don’t…”. Geralt didn’t let him finish but grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt. “I asked a question”. He smelled fear but it worked as the innkeeper started talking.

…….

Geralt pushed Roach more than he should after a day of riding already. He felt guilty and promised her a few apples. Jaskier was probably walking to the lake with the drowners. Roach could bring him there much quicker. He didn’t like the thought that Jaskier went after drowners. He still didn’t understand why. He guessed that there was another witcher involved that wanted to stay anonymous. That must be why Jaskier pretended to be traveling with Geralt. There was no other logical explanation he could think of. 

It was early in the morning when he reached the lake. It looked peaceful and calm. Geralt knew better. He scanned the sore and water for the bard but he didn’t see him or smell him. 

He climbed off Roach and started walking around a bit. It was a big lake and it was possible that Jaskier was on a different part. He gave Roach her apple and told her to rest. He did take his bag and swords and started walking. 

After some time he smelled him. Jaskier had been here. He decided to follow his nose leading him in the forest. The smell became stronger. He smelled fear, blood, pain and unmistakably Jaskier. He wanted to run to him but stopped himself. Maybe there was another witcher close. Probably not a friendly one. He needed to stay alert. 

He didn’t catch any signs of another witcher when he saw Jaskier. The bard was lying on the ground, a dead drower was lying next to him. His clothes were red from his blood. He looked dead. It was the slow heartbeat that convinced Geralt otherwise. He forgot the possible dangers of the other witchers and kneels next to Jaskier. 

Oh he was a mess! His clothes were ribbed, there were bruises and cuts on his face. His breathing sounded like it was hurting him. 

“Oh Jaskier,” he said. He took a knife out of his belt and started to cut the clothes away. They were far beyond repairing anyway. 

The small bloody body was a mess. He looked him over, not finding any broken bones. That was something at least. So he started cleaning and bandages all the cuts. There were far too many cuts on the thin body. None of the cuts were deadly as long they would stay clear of infection. He put salve on every bruise and took out a healing potion. He lifted Jaskier's head and slowly forced him to drink it. 

There was nothing more he could do. He sat back and really looked at the bard. Jaskier had lost a lot of weight. Geralt was able to count his ribs easily. The bruises under Jaskier's eyes were from the lack of sleeping. Jaskier must have had a difficult time. 

Geralt had seen the blisters on his feed. He picked up one of the bard's boots. The sole was to tin and the leather had holes. He realized that these were the same boots that the bard was wearing two years ago on that horrible day on the mountain. Back then Jaskier was saving some money to buy new ones. Apparently he never used his money for that goal. 

Geralt put a small blanket on the bard. Thankful for the warm night and investigated the area further.

Seeing a drowner he suddenly felt anger. The monster had hurt his bard, how dared it. Geralt kicked it hard. Shoving it away from the unconscious body. When the drowner was behind some trees he turned back.

He saw a dagger lying on the spot where the drowner had been. It was the dagger he gave Jaskier after the djinn incident. It wasn’t fit for fighting monsters. Why was Jaskier even fighting monsters! What on earth was going on here?

Jaskier needed clothes he decided. He looked around but he couldn't find any of the bard his bags. Where was his stuff?

Wait, there was something important missing. He looked around more. The lute! He never had seen Jaskier without it. His bad feeling about the situation changed into a terrible feeling. 

He took out some of his own clothes and dressed the bard in them. Then he sat down next to his friend, because he would never admit it but Jaskier was his best and only friend in this world. He patted the brown hair. “What happened to you?” he whispered. 


	2. Calm down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier wakes up but is acting strange, Geralt doesn’t know what to do...

**Chapter 2 Calm down  
**   


Geralt watched Jaskier sleep. Keeping watch, he still didn’t know if there was any danger close. He looked at the lake and saw another drowner. Still angry at them for hurting his friend he took out his sword and started to fight. 

In the end he had taken out four drowners before he sat down again next to Jaskier. Feeling a little better. 

A few hours later Jaskier finally started to stir. 

“Jaskier,” he tapped his cheek. “Wake up”. The bard's eyes started to move and two brown eyes looked directly in his. 

“Geralt, what, what?” Jaskier tried to sit up but Geralt put a hand on his shoulder.

“You were attacked by a drowner. Don’t worry you will be fine. You just have some cuts and bruises I took care of them”. He gave Jaskier a moment to progress everything.

“I killed the drowner right?” Jaskier asked while he looked around. “Where is it, I need it’s head”. Geralt tried to smooth the hurt bard. It wasn’t working.

“Yes you killed one. I took the other four down. It was a small pack. Do you remember what happened”. 

Jaskier tried to get out under his hold. “You stupid witcher. I had to do this. Something else you ruined”. 

The outburst surprised Geralt enough that he gave Jaskier the little space he needed to move himself free of Geralt hold and Jaskier tried to stand. It doesn’t work, his hurt feet won’t hold him. Geralt caught him and tried to lower him again.

“Calm down bard. You will hurt yourself”. Jaskier sat down on the ground pushing Geralt's hands away. “Don’t touch me!”

Geralt moved back a little. This isn’t the Jaskier he remembered. This isn’t like Jaskier at all. 

Jaskier was looking down at himself. “Where are my clothes and my boots?”

“I had to cut your clothes away to tent your wounds. Your boots are too old and beyond repair. I will buy you some new boots”. 

“Don’t you dare, give me my clothes” he scanned around looking for his clothes. Geralt raised his eyebrows but got the bloody bundle. 

“It isn’t fit for wearing,” he tried. Jaskier looked at his clothes and shook his head bitterly. 

“Stupid witcher” he yelled angry and trows his clothes away. He started pulling angry on his borrowed shirt. “Stupid shirt” he janked at the tin fabric so hard that a hole is created at the seam. 

“Enough,” Geralt said. He took Jaskier's hands in his own and got them away from the shirt.

Jaskier moved wild until his eyes rolled back and he lost consciousness. Geralt slowly laid the bard down. He hadn’t expected this. 

Slowly he petted Jaskier his head, looking for a head injury he missed to explain the odd behavior from before. He doesn’t find any. He still doesn’t know what the bard was doing here. He was clearly going after the drowners. Had someone blackmailed him? Was Jaskier scarred or even traumatized? He was acting like that. 

Geralt slowly lifted him up in his arms only taking the dagger leaving the old boots and clothes behind and started to walk back to Roach. Whatever the bard was so afraid of, Gerart would take care of it. 

He put Jaskier on Roach and sat behind him. “I’m sorry Roach,” he said. The horse just starts walking. 

……….

A few miles from the village Jaskier started to wake up. “What’s happening?” he asked.

“A drowner attacked you. You were really confused when you woke up earlier. We will be in the village soon. Just relax”. Geralt answered. 

“Oh, Geralt. Geralt? Why am I on this horse? I want off”. Jaskier started to move to the right side of the horse.

“Dammit Jaskier, calm down and sit down”. Geralt held him in his place. 

“Where are my boots?” Geralt tried to stay calm.

“I will get you new ones, remember”. Jaskier tried to throw himself off the horse again. 

“Don’t make it so hard for Roach, the poor girl is exhausted” he yelled. 

Jaskier froze and looked at Roach. “I’m sorry”. 

“I have a few apples, would you like one?” Geralt asked softly. He needed to stay calm and Jaskier needed food.

“Not hungry,” Jaskier said. “I’m only accepting that you are kidnapping me for Roach”.

“I’m not kidnapping you. I’m bringing a hurt friend back to town. As soon as you feel better you go to whatever you like to go”. 

Jaskier turned around “We are not friends”. 

Geralt bit his lip to prevent himself from reacting. 

“I hate you,” Jaskier mumbled before starting to pet Roach. 

Geralt felt like he was stabbed in his heart.

……….

He doesn’t let go of Jaskier when he got off Roach, he just put Jaskier over his shoulder. Jaskier started to hit him and yelled. 

“Take care of her” he handed Roach her reins to a frightened stableboy. Then he walked in the inn.

The same innkeeper as the day before is there. “I killed the pack. A room please”. The innkeeper looked at him.

“Sure, what's wrong with the bard. If I didn’t know any better I would think you are kidnapping him” he laughed hard and gave Gerald a key.

Geralt took the key and hurried upstairs. It wasn’t easy to carry an unwilling bard. He opened the door and walked to the bed.

The moment Geralt put Jaskier down on the bed Jaskier tried to get off. 

“Stay on the bed” Gerald said angrily.

“No, I won’t. I’m going” 

Geralt held him down. “You are in no condition to go. Please calm down Jaskier. I can’t let you go now. I promise you can go after you eat some food and have a good night of sleep. I will give you enough coins…” he can’t finish. Jaskier hit him in his face. It doesn’t hurt.

“I don’t want your coin. I don’t want you. I don’t want to sleep or eat. I just want to forget. I want peace!” there were tears on his cheeks. 

“Fine you get your peace” Geralt mumbled. He made a sigh and cast an axii. Jaskier stumbled to sleep. Geralt put him down and felt like crying too. He was used to dealing with physical injuries, not psychological. He didn’t know what to do. It was low to cast a spell on the bard but he didn’t feel like there was any other way.

Suddenly he felt that something was wrong. He recognised the feeling. His amulet started to buzz. Something was there. It was a witcher. The other witcher was coming closer to their room. Gerald turned around. Ready to fight and protect Jaskier at all cost. 


	3. Eskel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eskel arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief talk about suicidal thoughts. Just one sentence.

**Chapter 3 Eskel**

Geralt took his sword out. “Who is there?” he asked. He doesn’t have to talk loud because the witcher will hear him anyway.

“It is just Eskel, can I come in?” Geralt put his sword away and opened the door. It really is his brother! He felt relief. The situation with Jaskier was tough enough he could use some help.

“I’m just passing by. The innkeeper told me there was another witcher with a bard upstairs” he gave Geralt a quick hug before Eskel turned to the still sleeping Jaskier.

“Well I have to say brother you take better care of your horse then of your human. Do you even feed him? You know you need to feed humans often don’t you? And what is he wearing? You surely can afford shirts without holes in it. And sleep? I feel that you axii him. You know humans are supposed to sleep without magic right?” Eskel walked closer to the bed. 

“He doesn’t want to eat,” Geralt mumbled. 

Eskel bent over Jaskier, and lifted his shirt. “Why not, I can count every rib. He must be hungry”. He touched the skin. “He is cold, he probably doesn’t have enough energy to keep himself warm. You should give him a blanket”. Eskel looked around and found a blanket himself. He tucked the bard in. 

“I know that. But he would probably kick it away. He doesn’t want to eat, he doesn’t want to sleep, he doesn’t want healing salve, he doesn’t want to talk. I had to axii him to calm down” Geralt raised his hands in anger. He felt so desperate.

Eskel turned to his brother. “What does he want?”

“Nothing, peace. To forget. It wasn’t like he said a lot” Gerelt sat down heavy on the chair in the corner of the room. 

“Does he want to die?” Eskel stroke a few hairs away from the bard's forehead.

“I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. I don’t know what to do. Please help me”. He never begged for anything before but if the situation wasn’t going to change soon the bard would die”.

“He said he hated me,” Geralt sighed.

“What he didn’t mean that” Eskel tried.

“I think he did” Geralt answered

“What did you do?” Eskel sat down next to Jaskier. 

“I told him I hated his singing. I hit him after just meeting him, I never really took him serious” Geralt started.

“Well, that you told me already a few years ago. What happened this week”.

“This week? Eskel I haven’t seen Jaskier for two years. Not after.... not after. We went on a dragon hunt on a high mountain. I got angry with a witch yelled at Jaskier. Said some horrible things. I left him there. I didn’t help him coming down the mountain. I didn’t look for him. So I really thinks he hates me”. 

Eskel turned to Jaskier. “Poor boy, I guess you have a lot to make up for brother. But what happened today then?”

Geralt shook his head. “I don’t know. He went after some drowners. Telling the locals I was with him. I find him bloody, in old clothes, wearing boots with holes in them. Starving. I took care of him, but he just gets angry with me. He looked like a homeless, coinless, desperate boy begging for food”.

“Maybe he is a homeless, coinless, desperate boy doing anything for food” Eskel said. 

“Well. What should we do?” Gerart asked.

“Well you go sleep, I will watch him. The axii will work for a few more hours. Then you leave, and send a bath up and some food and I will deal with our little lark here”. 

Geralt could only nod. “Eskel we don’t cross paths othen. I didn’t see Jaskier in two years. It is a bit strange that you both show up on the same day” Geralt said.

“Yeah, to be honest. I was in a town a little bit north from this town. They told me a bard was begging for a job for his witcher. I was worried about you brother. I tracked the bard down. Destiny probably wants it this way”. 

Geralt shakes his head. “I just don’t understand, why Jaskier?” He looked at his sleeping friend. 

……..

When Jaskier started to stir Eskel woke Geralt up and sent him away. “Stay away for a few hours give us some time”. 

When Geralt closed the door he turned his attention to the bard. “You slept long enough, wake up”. Jaskier moved his head and his eyes fluttered open. He looked at Eskel.

“Geralt” Jaskier whispered.

“I send him away for some time. My brother did some damage here. I’m Eskel”. He took Jaskier his hand in his and squeezed it.

“An other witcher? Your a brother? Geralt’s brother?” Jaskier said and he blinked again. The axii was still doing something the keep the bard so relaxed. 

“Yes, you got it right. How do you feel?” Eskel gave him his kindest smile. 

“Sleepy, where is Geralt?” Jaskier tried to close his eyes again. 

“He is leaving us alone for some time. You didn’t want him around him and he didn’t want you panicking anymore. So here I am. Passing through this town at the right moment and the right time” Eskel joked. 

“Food and bath” yelled someone at their door. Jaskier tried to make himself small. He clearly wasn’t expecting the yelling. 

“Easy, I will open the door”, Eskel stood and walked to the door. A maid walked in putting food on the table and started bringing water to their bathtub. 

Eskel went to help her to speed up the proces. Suddenly Jaskier jumped out the bed and tried to run to the door. Eskel caught him easily.

“Easy little lark. Your feet will only hurt more” Jaskier protested just a little when Eskel brought him to the bathtub. 

“Full enough, thanky lady”. He smiled at the girl and she looked releaft that she could go. 

Esker cast an igny to warm the water. “You are still a little tired from the axii Geralt used. The bath will help. 

“I’m tired but I need to go” Jaskier said desperately.

“Sure, and you can tell why you need to go and where in the bath” reassured Eskel. 

Eskel slowly undressed the bard trying not to frighten him more. 

When he put him in the bath, he sat down next to him. 

“So tell me, why do you need to go”. 


	4. The homeless, coinless bard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eskel and Jaskier talk

**Chapter 4 The homeless, coinless bard**

Jaskier bite his lip. He didn’t feel well and he was still processing what happened. He was glad Geralt was gone for the moment. He was too embarrassed to face him.

“You know if you bite your lip like that, it is going to bleed” Eskel said softly.

Jaskier Eskel. He was softer than Geralt. Geralt liked to manhandle him. He would probably have thrown him in the bath. Eskel his hands were slowly washing his hair. It felt really nice.

He wasn’t sure what to tell Eskel. He didn’t want Geralt to know that the last two years had been terrible. Geralt probably had the best years of his life. Cuddling and kissing with the sexy sorceress. But Eskel wasn’t Geralt.

“So shall we start with an easy question?” Eskel asked. “Why aren’t you hungry?”

Jaskier immediately felt his stomach. “I am hungry but I don’t want his food. I would rather starve”. He wasn’t going to eat or take anything from the man that left him on a mountain! 

“So you will eat something if I pay for it?” Eskel asked slowly.

Jaskier nodded. He was only alive because of the kindness of others so Eskels kindness wasn’t any different. 

“Well I paid for the food over there, it's yours”. 

Jaskier eyed the food. He knew he should press to make sure it wasn’t Gerart’s but he didn’t have the energy. 

“Where is your lute?” Jaskier hadn’t expected that question. He felt tears in his eyes. He was not going to cry. He had cried enough. He just shook his head.

“Is the memory too painful?” Eskel squeezed his shoulder.

“It is one of the memories I try to forget,” Jaskier answered. He did feel a tear on his cheek. Stupid tears. 

“I tried to forget a few things myself. It never worked out. I only had to think about it more. Trying to forget also didn’t help a bit for the pain the memory’s made me feel. Talking about did help” Eskel told him.

“I couldn’t help it” Jaskier started with a broken voice. He didn’t want to tell, but Eskel was so kind. He could not stop himself.

“There were so many.... They hurt me.... They would kill me…. They, they, they just took it. I did try to yell, to stop them. I was weak. I didn’t stop them, it hurt…” he was rambling. 

“Ssh, it’s over” Eskel kept squeezing his shoulder. 

“Why are you so nice, I am so weak. I didn’t do a thing” Jaskier cried. He didn’t even try to stop the tears now. 

“Who took it? who hurt you?” Eskel his voice was still kind but there was a bit more force in this question. 

“I don’t even know. They just came at me. In a forest. I didn’t see if it were soldiers or bandits or…”. He let his head hang.

“That’s okay, let it go. It is not your fault that you were ambushed”. Eskel was hugging him now.

Jaskier took a deep breath and continued.

“It was just after the mountain, not even a week. Geralt wasn’t there. He didn’t stop them. I couldn’t play without my lute”. 

Eskel picked him up and carried him to the bed. Jaskier felt the blanket covering him. He didn’t protest or help in any way.

“What happened then?” Eskel asked and he sat next to him. 

“I didn’t have any coins, I couldn’t buy a new one.... I had to earn coins. I did anything for coins.... Mostly it didn’t work out. I’m not strong or skilled...I’m nothing without my lute. I got desperate….. So I thought maybe I could hunt a monster like Geralt. I needed the money. I tried to kill the drowner, I really did.” he hiccupped, putting his hands in front of his face.

“It’s okay, you did what you thought was best. No shame in that”. 

Jaskier felt his eyes close. “I think I need to sleep more”. 

“It’s okay, sleep” Eskel took his hands away from his face and held them in his own. Jaskier didn’t remember much after that.

………

Eskel watched the sleeping bard. After a few minutes the door of the room opened. Geralt stepped in. “You're lucky he is just human. I don’t think he would have taken it well. You were eavesdropping”.

“I should have protected him”. Eskel looked at Geralt. 

“You can’t protect those you love from every evil in this world. There is too much of it”. 

“But I could have stopped this. If we had gone to the coast like his suggested” Geralt looked miserable. 

“Well he is safe now” Eskel decided. 

“Save? He is starving. You should have made him eat” Gerelt snapped at Eskel. 

Eskel shakes his head. “Don’t take your anger out on me brother”. 

Gerald starts passing around in the small room. “I will kill them”.

“Sure, that will help Jaskier right now”. Eskel grabbed Geralt's hand and forced him to sit down next to him. 

“What do you want me to do then” Geralt snapped.

“What I want is not the question. What does Jaskier need is”. He puts one of Jaskier’s small hands in Geralt’s hand. “Hold that, comfort is the first step”. 

Geralt looked at his hand like the limb was going to fall off. “He doesn’t want me here”. 

“He does, I’m sure. But he is hurting. You should not let him push you away. But I do think you need to give him a little bit of space”. Eskel told him.

“I would hate myself too,” Geralt whispered.

“He doesn’t hate you, but he is angry”.

“What are we going to do?” Geralt asked.

“Well, Jaskier needs time. Time to heal. Time to put some meat on his bones. Time to progress things” Eskel started.

“I have time,” Geralt responded quickly. 

“I know you have, but I think we should go to Kaer Morhen. It is a safe place”.

“It isn’t winter yet,” Geralt pointed out.

“No but it is a home. A home where you don’t need any coin. A good place for a homeless, coinless bard don’t you think. A place to heal”.

“Only if you go with us. I can’t do this alone” Geralt was now really trying to hold the bard's hand in a comforting way. He was even stroking the palm of Jaskier’s hand with his thumb. Eskel smiled at the sight.

“Fine brother, but the bard better writes a song about me when he is healthy again”. 

“Be careful where you wish for” Geralt mumbled. 


	5. Boots and oils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt goes shopping for Jaskier.

**Chapter 5 Boots and oil**

Geralt was walking around the small market. He had Eskel his coin bag in his hand. It felt so wrong but Jaskier didn’t want anything Geralt would buy, so he just took Eskel his coins and would pay Eskel back later. Jaskier was his responsibility, his friend. It was his job to take care of him, make sure he was okay. He messed up big two years ago and now he would do anything to make it better. To treat him better. He would do anything to see Jaskier smile again, to hear him sing about him and to see him dance around. 

It was a good idea from Eskel to bring Jaskier to Kaer Morhen. It was a nice place in the summer, there was a big library that Jaskier would love. He could sit in the sun enjoying the warmth and read all the poetry he liked. Geralt would make sure to hunt for food and collect enough herbs to make sure Jaskier would have a big, tasteful dinners. Maybe he would feel better then. 

He looked at the tailor's stall. Jaskier needed clothes. Colourful clothes. The tailor didn’t have silk or something like that, just cotton.“I would like two pair of pants, three shirts, socks, a jacket and some underclothes in bright colors please,” he ordered.

The tailor looked at him. “Alright, what sides do you need?”

“Hmmmm, it’s not for me. It’s for a man, a small man”. Geralt looked around and saw a boy who had the same figure as Jaskier.

“He looks like that, but a little thinner. Do you have pants with drawstrings to tighten them?” The tailor nodded.

“Sure, what colors do you like”. Geralt looked at the shirts. Jaskier used to wear red and blue. But sometimes he liked green more. It was tough. He didn’t want to choose the wrong color. He had been hurting Jaskier enough already. He decided to choose the colors he had seen Jaskier in before. That was smart right? Jaskier couldn’t dislike that. 

“Maybe red and blue,” he said, unsure of himself. 

“Okay red and blue it is”. The tailor starts picking out clothes holding them up for Geralt to approve. 

After getting the clothes Geralt walked over to a market stall with shoes. Jaskier needed boots, quality boots so he could walk for hours without hurting his feet. Not that Geralt was planning on letting Jaskier walk for hours sometime soon. He would let him ride Roach or buy him his own horse. But if there was a situation where Jaskier had to walk for hours then he should be able to do so without getting so many blisters as he had now. 

Geralt looked at the shiny leather shoes. He saw a pair that was fit for traveling and that would keep Jaskier warm in the winter. Jaskier would love them. He picked one up. It was the right size. They were very expensive. If he brought those boots and the other things Jaskier would need like a bedroll, a travelbag, a blanket and a waterskin he wouldn’t have any coin left. Well he could always borrow some coin from Eskel and find a monster to hunt later to pay him back. 

He looked at the boot in his hand and then to his coin bag. He didn’t really recognize this side of himself. He never cared for someone so much. He loved his brothers, Ciri and he felt something strange for Yennefer but Jaskier changed him, he did back then, before the mountain and he still continued to do so. He made him feel like he was important and someone liked him for who he was. Someone that wasn’t scared of him, who would tent his wounds, ordered baths for him and was always there. Until he told him to go and even then Jaskier did that, just because Geralt had asked or more like yelled it to him. 

“I take those boots,” he told the shoemaker.

After he brought all the things Jaskier would need he went back to the inn. Suddenly there was a sweet smell. Lavender and cinnamon. He followed the smells and found a small stall with soap, bath salts and oils. Jaskier would love those. He used to carry all kinds of soaps and oils around. He would put them in Geralt's bath or wash his hair. Geralt never told him how much he loved that. He missed those smells the last two years. 

“Can I help you” the old lady behind the stall asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, picking out the products that Jaskier would love. He smelled every one of them to make sure to get the right ones. He feld tears in his eyes when he smelled the rose and camille combination that Jaskier used on the mountain trip. He was tempted to put that one back not wanting to remember that day. But it wasn’t about him. It was about what Jaskier liked and if Jaskier liked this oil he would gladly buy it for him. 

“Well you will make a lady very happy” the old lady said. Counting the prices of the products.

“It’s not for a lady, it’s for a friend,” he said. The lady looked up at that.

“I never saw a man picking out oils with so much care as you did for a friend. But there is always a first time for anything”. Geralt gave her his angry face and she didn’t say anything else. 

He swallowed when the lady told him the price and he gave her the last coins he owns. At least Jaskier would smell like he used to again. 

Before returning to the inn Geralt went to check on Roach. He let her lick his hand when he fed her an apple. “I will make this right” he told her. Roach understood what he meant and moved her head in agreement. He petted her neck and gave her a small sad smile. 

“Time to face my mistakes again and to do better,” he sighed. As much as he loved going back to Jaskier and Eskel. He wasn’t looking forward to another fight. “Please forgive me Jaskier” he bagged quietly. 

Roach pushed him with her head. “I know, I know. I will go. Oh Roach thank you for carrying us. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You're the best Roach I ever owned”. He immediately felt guilty to the Roach’s before her. They all did their best. He bit his lip. He was a witcher he wasn’t supposed to feel so much. Jaskier really changed him. 

He gave Roach a last quick pat and walked out of the stable to the inn. He was going to talk to Jaskier to stop the fights. He would ask for forgiveness, beg if necessary. 


	6. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier and Geralt fight, talk, forgive each other and hug.

**Chapter 6 Forgiveness**

When Geralt returned to the inn he found his brother and bard arguing. He stopped on the stairs to listen. He needed to know what was happening in the small room. 

“I have eaten, leave me alone” Jaskier shouted. Geralt swallowed heavily. If even Eskel couldn’t make Jaskier eat. Eskel was calm and he made Jaskier talk yesterday. Geralt really didn’t know what to do then. His bard wasn’t going to starve. But how could he stop it? 

“You only have eaten half of the soup. That is not enough. Eat more” Eskel sounded really tired. Geralt was grateful for his brother's patience. He wasn’t sure how he would have handled a situation like this. Probably bad. Bad like tying Jaskier down to the bed and force-feeding him or doing something else which would end in a disaster. Jaskier would hate him more. Geralt didn’t know how to care for people. Give him something to kill, stab or fight and he was fine. He understood that. But this stuff, he had no clue what to do. 

Taking a deep breath. Geralt opened the door and walked in. “What is going on here?” he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. He even tried to smile at Jaskier. Jaskier of course didn’t smile back. 

“You brother tries to force feed me” Jaskier was sitting on the bed arms around his knees. He looked flushed, feverish even. Eskel was standing next to him holding the soup. The bowl was almost full. Eskel was right, Jaskier needed to eat more. 

“I’m not forcing you. I’m asking you. He is way too thin, Geralt, he really needs to eat all the soup tell him” Eskel said. Geralt looked at his brother. Eskel was trying. Looking at him for help. 

Geralt looked at Jaskier trying to react the right way. “It's been days right, since you have eaten?” Jaskier was looking at him now. 

“Yes,” Jaskier looked ready to fight him if Geralt dared to say differently. Maybe Jaskier's stomach had to get used to the food again. He decided to try and ask him. 

“Then your stomach can probably only take so much. You will eat the rest later” he decided. Jaskier looked surprised, probably not expecting this. Maybe Geralt had said the right thing? 

“That’s not up to you Butcher. I want to eat” Jaskier yelled. Geralt sighed if it would take that to make Jaskier eat he would let him throw insults at him all day long. 

“Don’t call him that,” Eskel said, angry putting the soup away. Eskel shook his head. “It’s not fair to say Jaskier”. 

“Words don’t hurt me,” Geralt said. He knew Jaskier was only trying to push him away. 

“Maybe words can’t but I can hit you” Jaskier tried to get up and climb over the bed to the witcher. Fist ready to hit. Eskel hurried to the bed. 

“Seriously Jaskier, you are going to hit me and expect it to hurt” Geralt shook his head. Maybe he should let him. It wouldn’t hurt him. Maybe Jaskier needed to get it out of his system. Geralt had hit a few walls and trees in anger himself. Eskel apparently didn’t think so. 

Eskel forced Jaskier to lay down again.”Jaskier what’s the matter with you? You act like Geralt is the devil himself. I get that you are angry but this is not the way”. Eskel moved to get the blanket. 

“I don’t mind Eskel. He has the right to be angry. We are leaving tomorrow morning so you can better rest now” Geralt told the angry bard. Eskel sat down on the bed not happy with the situation. 

“I’m not going with you,” Jaskier answered. Of course, Jaskier wasn’t going to say yes to anything Geralt would suggest. Not that it really was a suggestion. 

“Yes you will” Eskel told him. “You need time to heal. We will travel together for some time ”. 

“You will be joining us,” Jaskier asked, surprised.

“Yeah I will, to make sure you two don’t kill each other”.

“Fine then but you better stay out of my face Geralt” the bard said before laying down.

“I need a drink,” Eskel said. “Can I leave you two alone”. Geralt nodded

Geralt sits on the chair next to Jaskier his bed. Jaskier doesn’t sleep. He waited for an hour before he started talking to him. 

“I know you can hear me. I’m so sorry Jaskier. I never should’ve taken my anger out on you. I was frustrated by Yennefer. I was so wrong. I understand that you can’t forgive me. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. I just want you to get better. To heal. I never hated your singing. I didn’t blame you for the djinn or the child's surprise. I won’t ask you for forgiveness but please let us help you”. There was a tear on his cheek. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried. 

“I’m done with being angry. It takes too much energy” Jaskier said. Geralt looked up.

“What…” he tries.

“I have been angry with you for 2 years. I tried to hate you but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t handle seeing you again. I’m a mess Geralt” Jaskier was crying as well. “I tried to push you away. I didn’t want you to see me like this. I know you didn’t mean the things you said. They hurt very much, but I forgive you. Since pushing you away didn’t work, I would rather have you as my friend again. If you still want me. I have been so mean to you”.

Geralt almost jumped on the bed, taking the crying bard in his arms. “Of course I will Jaskier. You're my friend. Always was and always will be”. He hugged him. “Am I doing this right?” He asked unsure.

Jaskier looked up at him with red eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Am I comforting you right. Eskel said I’m bad at it. I want to do this right for you. You're important”. 

Jaskier hits his chest soft. “You’re an idiot. It’s perfect”.

Geralt sat there for hours holding a sleeping bard. 

  
  



	7. Traveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier, Geralt and Eskel leave the inn to travel to Kear Morhen.

**Chapter 7 Traveling**

Eskel walked into the room finding Geralt and Jaskier hugging each other on the bed. Jaskier was fast asleep but Geralt was awake looking at his bard.

‘He forgave me. We had a talk. I apologized and he forgave me’ Geralt whispered like he couldn’t believe it himself.

‘Wow, I expected to find a bloodbath in the room, even a dead body. Your really lucky brother’ Eskel sat down on the foot of the bed.

‘Tomorrow we will leave for Kear Morhen. I already bought everything Jaskier would need. I replaced the coin you borrowed me. I still own you fifty coins. I brought him very expensive boots’ Geralt looked guilty at his brother.

‘Don’t worry about that. If you manage to keep Jaskier happy until we reach Kear Morhen they will be a gift’.

Geralt nodded. ‘I will keep him happy’.

‘You do realize him forgiving you is just the start. You need to earn back his trust. Respect him, take him seriously. No more yelling, hitting, insulting and taking your anger out on him’ Eskel told him.

‘I know. I will do my best. I will do more than my best. He deserves so much more than what I gave him’.

‘Yeah he does, but he still chose to forgive you. Just don’t fuck this up again. I don’t think you will get another chance.

‘If I hurt him again, I don’t even deserve a new chance. Then he is better off without me’ Geralt kissed the bard's forehead.

‘I’m going to sleep, try to meditate at least’ Eskel said before getting his bedroll out to sleep on.

…….

Jaskier slowly opened his eyes. He was laying in Geralt's arms. He forgave Geralt. It felt good not to feel anger as the first emotion when he woke up. He missed feeling safe. He didn’t like to admit it but Geralt did make him feel safe.

‘Sleep well?’ Geralt whispered.

‘Yes, I’m still very tired,’ Jaskier said. He could fall asleep again and probably sleep for a week.

‘That’s okay. You just have to eat something, get dressed and get on Roach, you can go back to sleep then’ Geralt said.

‘Roach? I’m going to ride Roach? Jaskier moved so he could look at Geralt.

‘Yes, you're still healing. I should let you ride her years ago. I meant what I said yesterday. I will do better. I will take care of you’.

Eskel walked in the room ‘good morning. I brought breakfast’. He put plates on the bed in front of Geralt and Jaskier. Jaskier slowly took a piece of bread and put it in his mouth. His body reacted immediately asking for more. Jaskier started to eat faster, putting as much bread in his mouth as he could.

‘Slow down, you will make yourself sick’ Geralt said. He caught Jaskier's hands when he tried to get Geralt’s bread as well.

‘I’m hungry’ he complained. He needed more food.

‘You can have more in an hour’. Geralt moved the plates away. ‘Can you stand and get dressed’.

Jaskier wasn’t sure but he could at least try. He moved out of the bed and stood up. The room started moving.

‘Easy’ hands moved him to sit down again. ‘Take things slow Jaskier’.

Geralt moved his arms to take his shirt off. Eskel handed him the red shirt Geralt brought on the market. Then he gently helped him in his jacket making sure to close all the buttons. Jaskier was glad with the jacket he had been cold for so long.

Eskel held Jaskier's shoulder when they made him stand up. He wasn’t as dizzy as before but he was glad he didn’t have to move. Geralt helped him out of his pants and in new and fresh small clothes and red pants.

His feet were moved in warm boots. They felt so much better then his old boots. He felt the soft fur against his ankle. ‘Thank you so much. I will pay you back’ he whispered.

‘No, it’s a gift. It's my fault you ended up like this anyway’ Geralt said he picking him up. One arm under his knees and one under his shoulder. ‘Let’s go to Roach’.

Eskel took all the bags and they left the inn.

Outside Roach and Scorpion were already waiting for them. Geralt thanked his brother for that.

He moved Jaskier on Roach getting up behind him. He gently pushed Jaskier so he was leaning against him. His head on his shoulder, the soft hairs against his cheek. He holds the reins in one hand using the other to hold Jaskier close. He hoped his bard felt safe like this. ‘Sleep’ he whispered.

Jaskier nodded and closed his eyes. He was asleep before they even left the village.

….

After a few hours they stopped. Geralt slowly shook Jaskier. ‘Wake up Jaskier’. He held Jaskier's head so he could look into the bright blue eyes.

‘We need to take a break and eat something’. Eskel helped Jaskier get off the horse before Geralt jumped down.

‘How do you feel?’ Eskel asked.

‘Tired and hungry’ Jaskier whispered as he was leaning against a tree.

‘Well sleep and food we can take care of that’ Eskel said. He moved to his bag and came back with some bread and dried fruit. ‘Here eat it slow. Your stomach is still getting used to food again’.

Geralt sat down next to him handing him some berries. ‘Your not in pain?’ he asked.

Jaskier shook his head. ‘The bruises and cuts aren’t that comfortable but it doesn’t hurt’.

Geralt nodded. ‘You will tell me if something hurts right? I have potions and salves. I can make it better’.

Jaskier took Geralt's hand, squeezing it quickly before letting it go again. ‘I know’.

Jaskier slowly at everything the brothers gave him. Water, fruit, berries and bread. He was falling asleep again when Geralt lifted him. ‘Are you okay to ride with Eskel and Scorpion instead of me? If not we just stopped early to give Roach enough rest’ he asked.

‘I’m fine with Eskel’ Jaskier said he just wanted to sleep. Geralt carried him to the horse. Moved him until Eskel was holding him in the same way Geralt did earlier.

‘Take care of him,’ Geralt said.

‘Of course I will brother. He is safe with me’ Eskel said giving Geralt a small smile.


	8. The lute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt gets Jaskier a new lute

**Chapter 8 The lute**

That evening they made camp in the woods. Jaskier felt a lot better after sleeping so much. He wasn’t dizzy anymore and for the first time in weeks he didn’t feel hungry or cold.

‘Here’ Geralt handed him a rabbit and a carrot. ‘Eat’. Jaskier nodded happily.

‘I would be dead if it wasn’t for you’ Jaskier said.

‘Well, you also wouldn’t be hurt so much if he hadn’t yelled at you on the mountain’ Geralt answered.

‘I guess we are even then’ Jaskier said.

‘We are, you do not own me anything’ Geralt handed Eskel his rabbit.

‘How long will it take us to reach Kear Morhen’ Jaskier asked.

‘A week. It will be easy to travel there. There won’t be any snow in the pass. You're lucky the pass is beautiful around this time of the year’.

Jaskier nodded ‘Geralt told me about it years ago. I always wanted to see it’ he sighed.

‘You will see it,’ Geralt said, a bit angry at himself. He should have taken Jaskier there sooner. Why did he never think about what the bard needed? Well, that is changing now. He would show Jaskier everything he wanted to see.

‘I’m going to sleep’ Jaskier said, laying down on his new bedroll.

‘I will keep watch,’ Eskel said.

‘I can do it’ Geralt reacted.

‘You didn’t sleep last night. Let me do this’. Geralt agreed because he needed his energy to help his bard.

….

Jaskier was standing in the forest holding his lute.

‘What have we here a bard. Are you lost’ a big man pushed him on the ground.

‘Do you want to live?’ another asked.

Jaskier nodded ‘yes’

‘Good then you won’t scream or come after us’.

They took his back and tied him to a tree.

‘Good boy. Say bye to your lute’.

‘No’ he yelled.

‘I said no yelling’ they kicked him and pushed something in his mouth.

‘Stupid bard it is your own fault. If you just had kept your mouth shut. We wouldn’t have to hurt you or gag you’ he man kicked him again.

Jaskier tried to yell, talk but the gag was effectively silencing him.

He bolt awake sitting up breathing fast.

‘Jaskier’ Geralt was moving to him from his bedroll. Eskel followed close. ‘You okay?’

Geralt was touching him hugging him.

‘Just a bad dream’.

‘What was it about?’ Geralt said, pushing his hair out of his face.

‘The day they stole my lute’ he whispered, he still mist his lute. Singing his songs, making music, dancing around in travens.

‘Did they hurt you?’ Geralt asked, pulling him closer.

‘Yes, I didn’t keep my mouth shut. So they gagged me, they kicked me. They tied me to a tree. I thought I was going to die’ he was crying. He hid his face in Geralt's neck.

‘Sssh, I will kill them, make them regret touching you’ he rocked the crying bard. ‘I won’t leave you again. I will protect you’.

‘My lute’ Jaskier hiccupped.

‘I will get you a new one. A better one. I promise. I really promise you Jaskier you I will get you a lute’.

Geralt felt like crying too. His heart broke when he heard his bard crying desperately for his lute. He needed to find a lute fast. He needed to hear him sing again. To see him dance and smile.

….

The next day they arrived in a big village. Geralt left Jaskier with Eskel just outside town to rest. He got Eskel to borrow him coins. He really needed to thank his brother. Without Eskel, well he didn’t want to think how things would have gone without Eskel.

He walked in every shop until he found what he was looking for. A woodmaker was working on a flute. ‘Do you have lutes’ he asked.

‘I do, I have two’ the man said standing up. He moved to another room and came back with two cases. He opened them.

Both the lutes looked very expensive. There was woodcarving on them.

‘There are brand new. Good quality and they come with a case, extra lute strings and oil’.

Geralt picked one up; it really was a beautiful lute. There were little flowers on the neck. It was perfect for Jaskier.

‘How much’ he asked.

‘400 coins, it is the best quality you can find in the country’. Geralt knew it was a fair price. Eskel had only 430 left. They would be completely out of coin. But it was worth it. Jaskier was worth it.

‘I take it’ he handed the man the coin and carefully put the lute in his case.

…..

Eskel and Jaskier were sitting next to each other when he found them. Jaskier saw the case and his mouth fell open.

‘You didn’t’ he stood up and walked to Geralt. ‘You didn’t!’.

‘I did. I brought you a new lute just like I promised’. Geralt handed him the lute. Jaskier opened it and took the lute out. He had tears in his eyes and moved in in his hands.

‘Thank you Geralt’ he moved to Geralt stopping for a second and then he kissed him. Geralt froze before kissing him back.

‘I love you’ Jaskier said, pulling back. ‘I always loved you’.

Geralt pulled him closer. ‘I love you to Jaskier’.

That evening Jaskier was playing on his lute, he sang and danced around the campfire. He occasionally stopped to give Geralt a kiss.

Geralt watched his bard smile. Everything would be fine now.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you enjoy this story. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Kudos are greatly appreciated! :)
> 
> If you want to chat, beta-read a story, have a plot suggestion for me or something completely different I’m Kapoentjes on Tumblr. I love writing so if you like something specific let me know 😊  
> Link Tumblr: https://kapoentjes.tumblr.com/


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